It’s natural to associate making a fresh start with the beginning of a New Year, or when undergoing a major life change. But consider the following definitions for the term fresh start.
An opportunity to start over without prejudice * an opportunity to begin again, or * a complete change in your way of life or the way that you do things, especially after you have previously been unsuccessful.
So, a fresh start begins by seizing an opportunity not necessarily in response to timing, which means it doesn’t have to be triggered by an external event or date on a calendar.
You can create a fresh start at any time you choose to undertake meaningful change, whether it’s the beginning of a new month, your birthday, or simply deciding you are no longer willing to tolerate certain circumstances (or people) in your life.
5 Ways to Create a Fresh Start
While most of these suggestions apply to anyone, I’ll be honest that I focused on issues that are particularly relevant to women.
Most of us expect far too much of ourselves, avoid taking credit for accomplishments and never manage to make it onto our list of priorities.
So, here are just a few suggestions to encourage you to engineer a Fresh Start for yourself.
Say “Yes” to You
This comes dangerously close to being a cliché, but it remains one of the most persistent issues for women, putting everyone else’s needs ahead of their own.
You don’t have to turn your back on loved ones to begin giving yourself some of the same consideration you give to others.
Try admitting you could use a little help instead of always shouldering the burdens by yourself, ask for what you need (Without prefacing it with an apology!), or set aside just half an hour each day to do whatever YOU want to do.
Stop Over-Apologizing
While men and women both apologize, research has officially confirmed what we’ve suspected all along, women do it (far!) more often.
We specialize in it.
According to a University of Waterloo, Canada study women apologize more than men because we have a lower threshold for what we consider to be offensive and that this behavior has been socialized into us from an early age.
Apologies have become our de-facto way of communicating, filling the silence, and keeping the peace.
Many are quick to offer an “I’m sorry” for no other reason other than speaking up or expressing an opinion.
Try listening as you go through the day and see how often you hear phrases like these;
“Sorry, is this seat taken?” “Sorry, is that your water?” “Oops, I just need to squeeze past you. Sorry!” “Sorry, have you heard this before?”
You don’t need to apologize for simply existing.
Clear the Clutter
The nature of clutter is that it has a way of gradually building up over time which is why it’s so easy to put off dealing with it until you find yourself facing a pretty grim mess.
This can be physical stuff, like that junk drawer or hall closet, but more often than you may realize it is mental clutter created by unresolved emotional issues.
Finally putting regrets, grudges and hurt feelings behind you will lift an enormous emotional weight. After all, you can’t reach for anything new when your hauling around yesterday’s junk.
Give Yourself a Little Credit
Be honest, have you ever downplayed or dismissed your accomplishments, attributing them to fate, luck or just good timing under the guise of modesty?
When you avoid giving yourself credit for your accomplishments out of some misguided thinking that you’re just being humble, you’re also erroding confidence in your own abilities.
Not only for you, but in the eyes of others.
Think about the challenges you’ve overcome, the times you stayed strong to support a friend or loved one. The times you chose to be true to yourself, the times you tried and failed.
Yes, even for the failures because you know what, most people will never even try!
Giving yourself credit doesn’t involve standing in the street yelling hey look at how great I am to get recognition and attention.
It’s simply and honestly acknowledging your value and capability, and embracing the truth that you make a difference in this life.
Stop Waiting for Permission
Too much of life is spent waiting. Waiting for the right circumstances, for the right people, for signs that we’re on the right path.
We wait for others to encourage us to take care of ourselves or pursue personal interests, and when we don’t get that permission, we assume it’s a result of lack of approval or just not meant to be.
If you want to live a great life, a life that reflects your deepest values and desires, you need to give yourself permission to do what you must do to make that happen.
For what it’s worth, it’s never too late to be whoever you want to be. I hope you live a life you’re proud of, and if you find that you’re not, I hope you have the strength to start over.
~F. Scott Fitzgerald
Closing Thoughts
The beauty of a Fresh Start is that it can be anything you want it to be from just shaking up your old routines to creating an entirely new path.
It doesn’t mean you don’t value the circumstances and people in your life now, just that you are ready to take the next step in your natural evolution on your journey to living your life to the fullest.
Whatever it is you’re waiting for it’s time to name it, claim it, and own it.
No one is ever going to swoop in and declare “Yes, I officially give you permission to (fill in the blank). Go now, be happy and live the life of your dreams!”
Give yourself permission to always be you, to be genuine with others, and to carve out your path.
It’s your time now. Stop waiting, the only permission you need to create a Fresh Start is YOURS.
Related reading:
Will you be the passenger or the driver in your life journey?
About Marquita A. Herald
Marquita is an author, resilience coach and the chief evangelist at Emotionally Resilient Living. She’s also an unapologetic workaholic who loves red wine, rock n’ roll, road trips (and car dancing!), peanut butter cookies and (especially) a dog named Lucy.
She’s saddened and frustrated by excuses and cruelty and believes authentic compassion is the most powerful force in the world.
To learn more about Marquita and the mission of Emotionally Resilient Living Start Here.
