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Emotionally Resilient Living

Ask anyone about “resilience” and they’ll likely say that it’s the ability to “bounce back” from a crisis. But contrary to popular belief, resilience isn’t something that you store in a closet for a rainy day.

After more than six decades of ongoing studies, researchers have considerably broadened their perspective on the value of resilience as a powerful combination of skills and behaviors that can benefit you every single day.Emotionally Resilient Living

Specifically, highly resilient people are said to have a greater sense of control over the quality of their own life, tend to be healthier and live longer, are more successful in school and work, are happier in relationships and are less prone to depression.

Consider that every day we face challenges that require a balanced outlook and stamina … commitment overload, financial strain, relationship challenges, striving to achieve goals, and for some, health issues, divorce, passing of a loved one, or loss of a job.

Even joyous occasions such as marriage and pregnancy include a whole range of stressors and how we handle them either enhances or detracts from these life-changing events.

Never believe anyone who says they will empower you. Others may inspire and even motivate you, but there is only one person who can empower you and that is YOU.

This is why …

You are the only one who can truly know what will make you happy and what you need to help you grow into the strong and confident person you were meant to be.

Maybe you’re in the process of moving through a major life change, or you feel there are missing pieces in your life and aren’t sure how to figure out what they are. It could be that you have a pretty good handle on your life now, but you’d like to strengthen certain areas like setting healthy boundaries, pushing through self-limiting beliefs, or learning to let go of the guilt that inevitably comes with setting aside time for self-care.

There is no one-size-fits-all user manual to build a life.

If you’re new here it’s worth noting that my approach to developing resilience is a little different than what you may be used to because I focus on growing forward as opposed to the popular notion of bouncing back.

It may seem like simple wordplay, but it is actually a very important shift in mindset from recovery to prevention.

Of course, I also touch on recovery issues, but even there the focus is on learning from our experiences in a way that helps us to grow stronger and more confident.

The truth is, it is an illusion to think you can truly bounce back to where you once were because every experience changes you in some way.

Just ask the divorcee, ask the person who has recovered from a grave illness or the person who has uprooted their entire life to move across the country. Think back to changes you’ve experienced in your own life, and how your perspective shifted as a result of the things you learned.

Why do the work to stand up to life’s challenges only to end up comfortably settled back into where you started? In fact, it may well be that the way things were led you down this path to change in the first place!

When you focus on growing forward it enables you to remain open to finding opportunities for growth and fulfillment in all of your experiences!



The first and arguably most important step to begin taking charge of your life is to believe that you have the power and authority to do so. Whether you have an obstacle to overcome, a goal you’re striving to achieve, or you simply long to feel more confident, you are far more likely to do whatever it takes to grow beyond your circumstances if you truly believe in yourself.

Admittedly, sometimes that’s much easier said than done, but I believe in you because I believe in the power within each of us to create a life we love. So, if you’re running a little short on self-belief right now, why not join our community and let’s do this together!

A little about me …Marquita Herald

My name is Marquita Herald and I’m an author, resilience coach, and the founder and chief evangelist at Emotionally Resilient Living.

My mission is to challenge people to refuse to be defined by circumstances, to be accountable for their choices, and believe, really BELIEVE in their ability to create the quality and course of their own lives.

I work hard to stay on top of the latest research on resilience and positive psychology and rarely write about things I haven’t experienced personally.

Occasionally I share personal stories in articles and my books, but for now, if you’d like to learn more about my background and quirky bits and pieces I invite you to read My Story.

If this is your first time here, I understand it’s hard to know where to start, so I’ve created this page to provide you with a sort of unofficial directory to help you find the best stuff at Emotionally Resilient Living.

Join the Community

The Power of FocusThere is one new article published at the beginning of each week at Emotionally Resilient Living. In addition to the latest post delivered to your inbox, subscribers receive the Resilient Living Weekly Newsletter with tips, inspiration, and member-only content.

As a special bonus, members also receive a free “Welcome” gift, The Power of Focus: How to Focus Your Energy With a Theme for 2018 and Achieve Greater Success and Life Satisfaction

The notion of a One Word resolution has been around in various forms for awhile now, but what I see a LOT of people do is choose a word or theme because it sounds good, but never actually attach it to purpose, priorities or action.

The mission of this guide is to provide you with a simple but effective process to help you focus on what you want 2018 to be about and to share what I’ve learned about how to stick with your intentions long enough to accomplish your desired results.

At just 27 pages The Power of Focus is neither long nor complicated – which is really the whole point of this strategy – but if you follow the steps outlined you’ll not only accomplish more of the stuff that matters, you’ll save time and avoid the more common stumbling blocks.

Discover Resilient Living
Receive the latest articles, FREE guide to The Power of Focus to achieve more in 2018, weekly dose of real world advice, resources and inspiration.
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Reference Library

To get right to the heart of key topics covered here I encourage you to start by checking out the pages here in the Reference Library. Each page covers a key topic associated with developing resilience and includes links to relevant articles to learn more about the subject. There are more articles in the works for the Library and community members receive a courtesy update.

  • An Introduction to the Art of Resilient Living
  • The Relationship Between Confidence and Resilience
  • Discover Your Truth Through Self-Awareness
  • Master Your Emotions
  • What it Means to Own Your Life!

The Articles

To read the latest articles simply click on the Articles tab in the menu bar above, and if you’d like to browse past articles by date or category you can visit the Collections and browse every article published since ERL was launched in 2014 by title and date or by category.

A Few Favorites

There are currently around 200 articles published on ERL. I hate to pick favorites, but there are just a few articles that especially stand out.

 Celebrate the day on which you choose to embrace the power you have to create your own life experience. It is an amazing journey and you alone will be responsible for the quality of it.


20 Reader Comments

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  1. I appreciate your kind words Mina, and especially for sharing some of your own inspiring story with us!

  2. Mina Joy says:

    Hi Marty, I enjoyed reading your article, and thank you for sharing your story. I love how you write the story in funny way while the core of the story is reflecting on the pain and deep level of learning. Two lines of your article hit me the most: “Freedom Lies in Being Bold”–I copied and paste it to somewhere that I can see it every day. I’ve grown up in a family/culture that you don’t say/express your true feelings because you don’t want to hurt others or be rude!!!! As an adult and having grown up children, I found myself having lost my Voice/not being able to say things I wanted to say. Now, I have developed awareness around it, and practicing this way of being–I Want to Live my Life Boldly 🙂 The second thing that hit me–and again, I copied and paste it was, “I am tenacious—perfectly imperfect—and unapologetically me”–loved it. It been lately that I have released the belief/idea of “Being Perfect” There is so much freedom in it. I know I AM Light—and I am not my mistakes, my failures, the things that has happened in my life … Saying that, among friends and family, I’ve been recognized as a “Resilient and Strength” On one of my birthdays, (I am a Leo too 🙂 Aug.18th) my children wrote me a beautiful note and mentioned those powerful words. By the way, I moved to beautiful Portland/Oregon from CA about four months ago. When I felt things were going well, the adversity shows up. This was just last week.This is what I told to adversity … while I’m looking at his eyes, “I Am not afraid of you. I walk toward you to Face You. I Am Fighting you. I knock you down and throw you out of this planet–out of the solar system—and make sure you fell into the corners of Universe.” I AM Bold. I AM Light. I AM Resilient. I AM That I AM.

    Thanks so much Marty! Looking forward to reading your empowering authentic articles! In Boldness, and Light Mina Joy

  3. I’m so glad you enjoyed the post Teresa, and delighted to see that you have also followed me on Google+. I hope that you will return and continue sharing your thoughts with us. I love to hear from readers! 🙂

  4. What an inspirational posts and hits close for me in many ways. Your words are so true. I had a life experience about 6 years ago that made re-evaluate and view life a bit different as well as changing how I view the past. Life is and adventure. I know strive everyday to learn from the adventure and grow as a person. Now I am beginning to grasp the concept your mention. YOU are the only one that can change YOU. Thank you for sharing!

  5. Amaka Adindu

    Thank you Marquita. Great post well put together. I enjoy visiting you blog. There is always a take away. Keep writing it feel natural.

  6. Thanks for your kind words Paula and I hope you enjoy the book.

  7. Paula

    Awe you are a great writer and your book looks awesome. I will keep it under my hat as I have a daughter that might benefit from it. But presently she doesn’t read much.
    Paula recently posted…Motor Club of America Scam or Not?My Profile

  8. Wow William, you just made my week! Thank you so much for your very kind words and for sharing, sincerely appreciated!

  9. Edward Thorpe

    Hi Marquita,

    Love your tag line ‘Each morning we’re born again. What we do today is what matters most’ so much, that I tweeted it with a link back to this interesting site.

    I’ve admired you since finding you through our association in PAC. But until today I hadn’t really backgrounded you – liking you even more!

    “Never believe anyone who says they will empower you. Others may inspire and even motivate you, but there is only one person who can empower you and that is YOU”… Say ‘Amen’!
    Edward Thorpe recently posted…How To Say NO Without Losing FriendsMy Profile

  10. K. Lee Banks

    Thank you for your thought-provoking words. I definitely need to build up some emotional resilience in my life! I appreciate you sharing.
    K. Lee Banks recently posted…Gratitude Challenge – November 19 – Thankful for Freedom from WorryMy Profile

  11. Thank you so much Dr. Ho! I can’t tell you how much I appreciate your kind words. 🙂

  12. Dr. Elise Cohen Ho

    Simply beautiful. We have known one another for some time now but yet I feel that in many ways I just got to know you. I adore the directory and seeing the flow of what you highlight as the top not to miss areas though I feel that I do not want to miss anything at all 🙂
    Dr. Elise Cohen Ho recently posted…Is Daddy Your Super Hero?My Profile

  13. Gabriela O'Malley

    Just wonderful! Your writing come across with such calm and power. Thank you, you absolutely inspire me. I will continue to read more of your work.

  14. Welcome Reji, and I look forward to getting to know you at PAC!

  15. Reji

    Hi Marquita,
    I am visiting your blog for the first time and glad to see your great work. Actually, I landed up here from the PAC blog rotator. Hoping to come back again to have a detailed look.
    Have a great time blogging.
    Best regards
    Reji Stephenson

  16. Thanks for stopping by Mayank, and especially for taking the time to share your thoughts and contribute to the conversation. Always appreciated!

  17. Mayank Bhatt says:

    Wonderful article. You are absolutely right if one should have believe in oneself, he or she can achieve everything that they desire in their life. Thanks for beautiful tips about life. People who have lost hope and about to quit will definitely get inspire by reading your thoughts
    Mayank Bhatt recently posted…Download Narcos Cartel Wars for PC (Windows,Mac)My Profile

  18. Joe says:

    “..learning to let go of the INEVITABLE guilt that comes with setting aside time for self-care.” Yes, that is a big one, particularly when it comes from others in our lives. ( but that sounds like an excuse Marquita would not like, so please disregard )
    Thanks for the encouragement. I saw at least 3 must-reads from your “non top-10 top-10”.

  19. It’s great to see you back here again Chery and I hope you’ve been enjoying the summer with your grandchildren! 🙂

  20. Chery Schmidt

    Hello Marty! It is so good to be back here again. I love what you have done here with your blog my friend! Keep Up The Great Work. Looking forward to learning more from you.. Thanks
    Chery :))