Alone Doesn’t Have to Mean Lonely This Holiday Season

Written by on December 15, 2020 in Emotional Mastery, Self-Care

Holiday Season

The Holiday Season will look different this year. So many people continue to struggle with grief, loss, and financial worries it’s bound to take a bit of the joy out of the usual sparkle of the season, especially if you find yourself alone.

We can choose to keep ourselves busy and try to pass the time not thinking about all that we’re missing.

Or, we can create new experiences that may not be exactly the same but will help us to connect with the things and people that matter most, rekindling positive feelings and a sense of belonging.

The greatest discovery of any generation is that a human being can alter his life by altering his attitude.

~William James

Make This Holiday Season Your Own

The miracle of the human mind is that changing your attitude about a thing changes your experience of it.

The first step to make this holiday season your own is to let go of the images in your mind of the way the holidays should look and replace them with new expectations that focus on radiating the spirit of gratitude, connection, and love into the world around you.

Whether you’re alone (or feeling lonely) this holiday due to your personal situation, geography, work, a recent loss, physical health, or something else, remember that Christmas is a state of mind.

Here are ways to fill your heart with the spirit of the season.

A Few Ideas to Inspire You

Enjoy the Sparkle of the Season

Often what makes the holiday season sad and lonely are the memories they bring to mind. It could be a longing for the happy family gatherings you have always cherished, or you may be haunted by unhappy childhood memories.

You can make this special season your own by creating new memories that change the meaning of the holidays for you.

Bring the sparkle of the season into your home with a few lights and decorations, but instead of traditional colors and ornaments, go with frosty blue or white, or whatever your favorite color may be.

Make it a one-time special event, go with a particular theme that inspires you, or create new traditions that you can build on in the future.

Connect With Others Any Way You Can

Whether you’re alone by choice or circumstance, connecting with others will help to bring the spirit of the season into your heart.

Many people have shifted their friends and family gatherings and celebrations to platforms like Zoom, but you don’t have to limit yourself to people you already know.

Whatever your interest, from music to hot pot recipes, starting a business, or writing a book, there are forums and groups online where you can meet and get to know like-minded people.

One of the best ways to experience the true spirit of the season is to connect with others who could use a helping hand – and there are a lot of people right now who really need to know others care.

While many in-person volunteer opportunities are out of the question due to social distancing (courtesy of the pandemic), there are plenty of virtual volunteer opportunities.

A resource I highly recommend is the Virtual Volunteer Match. Here you will find virtual volunteer opportunities anywhere in the country no matter what your interest: animal rights, arts and culture, food bank, community outreach, education, COVID-19 specific, and so much more.

Create Your Own Special Memories

Here are just a few ways you can create special experiences without ever leaving home.

*A few fresh bath towels, scented candles, and bath salts, a hot bubble bath and round out the ambiance with some soothing music and your favorite book and you have your own spa experience at home.

*Spend a day teaching yourself how to do the perfect manicure and pedicure, detoxifying facial, or exfoliating body scrub.

*One of my passions is reading – I don’t even own a television (gasp!). You can escape into a completely different reality with the right book. Get in the mood with a Christmas story, indulge in a juicy romance novel, or get your heart pounding with a mystery thriller.

*Enjoy your favorite (or bucket-list) vacation destination by recreating the environment in your home. A few well-placed props or decorations, background music, and a special meal and you have a mini vacation. I’ve seen people create everything from Disneyland or the Wild West to foreign countries.

*Have a movie night in your living room. Pop some popcorn, pile up the cushions and blankets, turn off the lights, and get comfy. You might splurge and stream a recent movie you wanted to see or maybe (like me) you’re a fan of the oldie but goodies.

Even small shifts in your environment can have a positive impact on your emotions and frame of mind.

Write a New Chapter

This is the perfect opportunity to take some time to reflect on your year.

I hear you, “Why wreck what little holiday spirit I do have by rehashing this awful year?!”

It’s human nature, we can’t help but focus on the bad stuff and minimize or forget the good. Typically, at the end of the year (or after a particularly rough patch) all we want to do is put the experience behind us as quickly as possible.

In doing so we cheat ourselves of the opportunity to learn, grow, and celebrate.

This is an opportunity to clear the emotional baggage of 2020 so you can create a better understanding of the twists and turns your life has taken, and revisit and reset your priorities for the future.

Think of this as a ritual to close one chapter of your life so you can begin writing a new chapter that will be better and more focused thanks to all that you’ve learned.

Then ask yourself this question, “What ONE thing could I focus my energy on accomplishing in 2021 that would make a meaningful difference in my life?

The Takeaway

Whatever your circumstances, remember that you have the power to make this Holiday Season your own – whatever that may look like.

Creating new expectations, new traditions, and memories is a great way to enjoy the spirit of the season.

But the most important thing is to give yourself the space you need to breathe through the stress and turmoil you’ve experienced this year and give yourself permission to simply be for a while.

Will you be the passenger or the driver in your life journey?
About Marquita A. Herald

Marquita Herald

Marquita is an author, resilience coach, and founder of Emotionally Resilient Living. She’s also an unapologetic workaholic who loves red wine, rock n’ roll, road trips (and car dancing!), peanut butter cookies, and (especially) a dog named Lucy.

She’s saddened and frustrated by excuses and cruelty and believes authentic compassion is the most powerful force in the world.

To learn more about Marquita and the mission of Emotionally Resilient Living Start Here.

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