A familiar theme in personal growth is to be honest with yourself about whether you are settling for a life that is simply good enough.
But what does that mean really, to settle for good enough?
Some people see this as a personal challenge.
So, you never write a best-selling book or start your own business, but you love your life as a wife, mom, friend, and occasional soccer coach.
Is that not good enough?
The only one who can and should answer that question is you.
The issue of whether or not you’re settling for good enough is a very real problem, but it is not about the particular path or lifestyle you’ve chosen, it goes much deeper.
It’s about the quality of your life.
We all just want everything to be okay. We don’t even wish so much for great or wonderful or outstanding. We’ll happily settle for okay because most of the time, okay is good enough.
~David Levithab
What Settling for Good Enough Looks Like
Let’s begin by shifting the emphasis from the term “good enough” to the act of settling because that’s the real problem.
Whether we are aware of it or not, many of us settle for good enough as the standard for the amount of effort we’re willing to make in relationships, work and life in general.
For example, settling for unfulfilling relationships because you aren’t sure you’ll ever be able to do better, and it’s better than being alone.
Or, you avoid setting healthy boundaries because it’s hard and uncomfortable. You don’t want to appear selfish or offend anyone, and if others take advantage from time to time, it’s still better than being alone.
It’s settling for a job that isn’t great, but it’s not awful either.
Rather than making the effort to find work that is more fulfilling, you pass time collecting your paycheck and doing just enough to stay under the radar and avoid problems.
Then there are the endless quick fixes that mask real problems you never get around to solving, or health issues ignored because you’re feeling okay and that’s good enough.
If you can step back it becomes easy to see – sometimes with shocking clarity – the long-term damage that repeatedly settling for good enough is doing to your self-esteem and confidence.
Talk about a mid-life crisis in the making!
Every day people settle for less than they deserve. They are only partially living or at best living a partial life. Every human being has the potential for greatness.
~Bo Bennett
When Good Enough Is No Longer Good Enough
There’s a lot to be said for being grateful for what you have, but that doesn’t mean it’s not worth the effort to be the best you possible at whatever you choose to do.
If you’re happy with the life you have now – whether it’s living a peaceful, gentle life, or working your brains out building your own business – then stop worrying about what others think and live it for all your worth.
If you’re not happy with your life, if it feels like a piece of you is missing, then stop settling for whatever gets you through the day.
Decide what it is that will make you happy, and start making small changes.
There are no guarantees. Things might get better, or they might get worse. You won’t know until you begin making changes and find your way.
This alone is enough to keep most people from trying.
But you should try because this is how you discover who you really are, what you’re capable of and what really matters to you.
What we’re talking about here is the difference between sitting back and letting your life be ruled by fate, circumstances and the influence of other people.
Or, embracing the power within you to create a life that is true to who you are on the deepest level.
Will it be easy? Probably not. Are you worth it? Absolutely!
Will you be the passenger or the driver in your life journey?
Related reading:
- Guiding Rules for The Life You Want to Live
- Are Feelings of Unworthiness Sabotaging Your Confidence?
- How to See People For Who They Truly Are
About Marquita Herald
Marquita is an author, resilience coach and the chief evangelist at Emotionally Resilient Living. She’s also an unapologetic workaholic who loves red wine, rock n’ roll, road trips (and car dancing!), peanut butter cookies and (especially) a dog named Lucy.
She’s saddened and frustrated by excuses and cruelty and believes authentic compassion is the most powerful force in the world.
To learn more about Marquita and the mission of Emotionally Resilient Living Start Here.
