It’s Okay to Be Scared

Written by Marquita Herald on March 23, 2020 in Emotional Mastery

It’s okay not to be okay. It is okay to admit you are scared because there is a lot of scary stuff going on around us right now.

You don’t need to pretend to be brave just to impress others.

At the risk of sounding like a cliché, it is true that in every crisis there is an opportunity to grow, to be larger than the challenges you face and to come out the other side of the storm stronger than ever.

There will be many who give in to the fear, it’s not hard to spot them. They are the angry ones, those who lash out and do things that are inexplicably rude or mean.

It may help to understand that for many frustration and anger are the go-to emotions when they are feeling scared or helpless.

Well, truth is a lot of us are feeling pretty helpless right now. With the growing number of people affected by the pandemic things seem to be changing by the hour, but you don’t have to feel like a victim being carried along by this storm.

Fear comes from uncertainty. When we are certain that we can handle whatever challenges life sends our way, we become almost invulnerable to fear.

Click to tweet

Admit You’re Scared

One of the ways many of us respond to fear is to tell ourselves we need to suck it up and not admit that we’re scared.

But burying your emotions won’t make them go away they’ll just resurface in the form of stress, anxiety or anger.

There’s nothing wrong with feeling sad, worried or scared. These are human feelings that help us to learn and grow – if we let them.

Giving yourself permission to fully experience and accept whatever state you may be in is one of the most self-empowering things you can do.

Create Clarity

Fear tends to manifest itself in broad vague feelings that make it difficult to define.

But to take charge of your fear and determine how you can use it to create a better outcome, you need to become very clear about exactly what it is you’re afraid of.

For most people it’s the uncertainty of what lies ahead as we go through this time of crisis. How long will it last, how bad will it get, what will I lose in the process.

Answers may be in short supply right now, but that doesn’t mean you are helpless, you have complete control over how you choose to respond.

Try to remind yourself that you are not in this alone, the whole country and much of the world is experiencing the same fear, and uncertainty.

And there are many people, companies, and service providers willing to lend a helping hand to those who muster the courage to ask.

You can either give in to the fear and become mired in feelings of hopelessness and negativity, or you can square your shoulders, take a few deep breaths, and ride your fear even as your hands are shaking and your stomach is host to scores of butterflies.

The key to turning fear from an obstacle into positive energy is to focus on what you can do now to make the most of your time and energy.

Recognize Our Shared Humanity

It may not feel like it some days, but we have much to be grateful for during this storm.

There are people working day and night, in some cases without sufficient resources, to help those affected by the virus, keep services running, deliver food and generally make life bearable for the rest of us.

There are so many inspiring stories about how people are reaching out to help each other in the most inspirational ways. In my neighborhood, there is an online community and many of my neighbors have offered to run errands, pick up food and check on seniors who have no family.

Try to find a way each day to say “Thank you!” to someone who is working to provide the rest of us with as many services and conveniences as possible.

You’ll be amazed at how your fear fades when you begin to recognize how much you have to be grateful for.

Fear is excitement with the breaks on.

~Marie Forleo

Embracing Your Fear Makes You Stronger

Fear can be a hindrance, or it can be a motivator. Think of it this way, when you’re 85 and looking back over your life, what will you remember?

How many times you gave in to fear and clung for all you were worth to a life of comfortable familiarity?

Or the time you made it through the great Coronavirus Pandemic of 2020, took a flyer on pursuing a childhood dream and made it happen, or fell flat on your face but picked yourself up and came back stronger than ever?

Attitude makes all the difference now more than ever.

Yes, there is uncertainty and no shortage of things to fuel your fears but if you take the time to look, there is also the best of human nature on display all around us.

Love, kindness, generosity, and enormous creativity, which fuels hope for the future.

Will you be the passenger or the driver in your life journey?

About Marquita A. Herald

Marquita is an author, resilience coach and the chief evangelist at Emotionally Resilient Living. She’s also an unapologetic workaholic who loves red wine, rock n’ roll, road trips (and car dancing!), peanut butter cookies and (especially) a dog named Lucy.

She’s saddened and frustrated by excuses and cruelty and believes authentic compassion is the most powerful force in the world.

To learn more about Marquita and the mission of Emotionally Resilient Living Start Here.