I’ve been thinking a lot lately about those “This is my life now” tweets. You know the ones, they typically include a photo of someone acting silly, eating junk food, or whining about running out of television shows to binge-watch.
It’s easy to bond over these messages because they are so relatable, but they also illustrate how many of us are passing the days, weeks, and months waiting.
- Waiting for the check to arrive.
- Waiting to get back to work or school.
- Waiting to be able to see loved ones
- Waiting to go … anywhere.
- Waiting to feel better.
- Waiting for any sign of normalcy (as in the way things were).
Some will argue that waiting is precisely what the experts have repeatedly told us to do, but I’m here to remind you that is not what they’ve said.
Yes, we’ve been asked not to travel, stay home as much as possible, and avoid large groups of people.
We have not been asked to put our lives on hold, that is simply the way some of us have chosen to interpret it, and it has become an exhausting, mind-numbing place to be.
Waiting to live is a terrible waste of life. It’s time to begin moving forward.
This life is yours, take charge of it. Stop letting the winds of fate and the opinion of others determine your direction. Reclaim the power within you to create the quality and course of your own journey.
What It Means to Begin Moving Forward
There’s a popular misconception that adversity makes people stronger, and it is true that it’s easy to find stories about people who have survived a particularly difficult hardship or crisis and experienced a positive transformation in their lives.
Some of those people will even say they are grateful for the experience because it changed them for the better.
But this type of growth isn’t the outcome of experiencing adversity, rather it’s the direct result of the way we choose to respond to life’s trials.
It’s the person you become by doing the hard stuff, facing your problems, challenging your limits, and taking 100% responsibility for your life.
It’s choosing to keep moving forward even when you can’t see the road ahead, trusting that you will find your way.
We still have the same 24 hours in a day, and the whole world at our fingertips, courtesy of the Internet. There are opportunities to learn and grow in every area if we are only willing to make the effort.
Those who accept the challenge will not only make progress on their dreams and goals, they will become more resilient as they gain strength and confidence in their ability to weather any storm that life may send their way now or in the future.
When you embrace the seasons of change you are in, especially the sucky ones, it opens you to a well of strength, self-determination, and creativity you never realized was there.
Life Goes On, and So Must We
Maybe you are wondering if it makes sense to think about moving forward when there is still so much uncertainty about the future.
There is no denying that we’re in uncharted territory right now. The truth is we’re all making a lot of this up as we go – including the experts.
But the core issue for most of us goes deeper than not having all the answers – the disruption of so many things we used to take for granted has left us with the feeling that we’ve lost what little control we had over our lives.
So, here’s the good news. You haven’t really lost any control, you just assumed you had more than you do. A common human trait.
The problem is that we mistake not having the options we want for lack of control.
Your only choices may be painful, the absolute last thing you want to do, they may well and truly suck, but they are still options.
Here’s what matters. You have all the control you need to move forward.
You have the power to choose your attitude, your responses, and the amount of effort you are willing to exchange for whatever it is that you want to do, obtain, or become in your life.
More importantly, you are stronger, more resilient, and more beautiful than you imagine.
It doesn’t matter what your age or circumstances may be at this moment. You are the author of your story, and your story is your life.
There are things to learn and experience, and beautiful new chapters to be written that will uplift and expand you as a person.
But know this too, no matter what you choose to do … life will go on.
It is possible to get so used to the pain and struggle of your problems that you don’t remember what it feels like without them. The real danger is when you stop trying to remember, because without them, who are you?
You Are Never Going to Feel Like It
We’ve turned a page on the calendar but we need to remember that life does not work like a light switch, on/off – 2020 bad year, 2021 good year.
We still have a rough road ahead of us, but if we want to find ourselves in a vastly different space 365 days from today it’s up to each of us to make that happen for ourselves.
Anyone who tells you differently is profiting off your fearful ignorance of the truth.
Change is in the air.
It may take everything within you to have a positive attitude and patience as you deal with the sucky stuff, especially if you are grieving over losses, struggling financially, or just not where you want to be.
But during hard times – even a global pandemic – having a vision for your life and working toward making that a reality can create a positive shift in your mental and emotional state, instill a sense of self-determination, and boost your happiness, energy, and overall well-being.
The suck is where growth and healing begins.
Related reading:
Will you be the passenger or the driver in your life journey?
About Marquita A. Herald
Marquita is an author, resilience coach, and founder of Emotionally Resilient Living. She’s also an unapologetic workaholic who loves red wine, rock n’ roll, road trips (and car dancing!), peanut butter cookies, and (especially) a dog named Lucy.
She’s saddened and frustrated by excuses and cruelty and believes authentic compassion is the most powerful force in the world.
To learn more about Marquita and the mission of Emotionally Resilient Living Start Here.
