Fear didn’t just run in my family, it galloped. In fact, growing up issues such as substance abuse, depression, and general dysfunction were all too common among those near and dear.
Despite efforts to keep the rest of the world out in an attempt to closely guard family quirks, they became fodder for the trolls and that turned into some pretty painful years of endless schoolyard bullying.
Determined to put my painful childhood behind me and at the same time not follow in the family tradition, from a pretty young age I began reading every self-help book I could get my hands on.
What I really wanted to know was how some people managed to remain positive and thrive in spite of whatever obstacles they encountered, while others suffered one crisis after another, appearing to be little more than hapless victims of whatever life threw at them.
I didn’t have the words for it at the time, but I learned later that this behavior I’d become so fascinated with was resilience.
“I challenge people to think about things in different ways and not just accept the status quo, to pay attention to their lives and take responsibility for their choices, and believe, really BELIEVE in their ability to grow beyond their circumstances and direct the course of their lives.” ~Marquita Herald
Hi, I’m Marquita (mar-kee-ta), and I’m a personal development and resilience guide, author, publisher, and the founder and chief evangelist of Emotionally Resilient Living. My professional background includes a successful career in international sales and marketing, a decade as an award-winning life and small business coach, followed by the past five years specializing in coaching to develop psychological resilience.
My professional background includes a successful career in international sales and marketing, a decade as an award-winning life and small business coach, followed by the past five years specializing in coaching to develop psychological resilience.
And, in case you’re wondering, “chief evangelist” is just a fancy term for someone who sings the praises of the thing they are most passionate about to anyone who will listen. For me, that happens to be resilience.
It’s worth noting that my approach to developing psychological resilience is a little different in that I focus on growing forward as opposed to the popular notion of bouncing back.
It may seem like wordplay, but it is actually a very important shift in mindset.
The reality is, it is an illusion to think you can truly bounce back to where you once were because every experience changes you in some way.
Just ask the divorcee, ask the person who has recovered from a grave illness or the person who has uprooted their entire life to move across the country. Think back to changes you’ve experienced in your own life, and how your perspective shifted as a result of the things you learned.
And really, if you think about it, even if you could go back, why stand up to life’s challenges only to end up comfortably settled back into where you started? When you focus on growing forward it enables you to remain open to finding opportunities for growth in all of your experiences!
The notion that adversity makes one stronger is a myth. Growth comes not from the experience of adversity but rather from our response to it.
My Hard Earned Lesson
In 1998, I had the opportunity to take advantage of many of the lessons I’d learned over the years and in the process experience firsthand the true meaning of emotional resilience. In a matter of a two short months my 20 year marriage dissolved, my dad unexpectedly died of a massive heart attack while I was out of the country on business, and I was diagnosed with a rare degenerative eye disease for which there was no known cure, and the doctors said would in all likelihood leave me completely blind sooner rather than later.
There really are only two choices when you’re faced with overwhelming adversity on that level … curl up and let life defeat you, or choose to fight back and push your way through the problems. More often than not that means simply refusing to entertain the notion that things aren’t going to work out on some level … for me, that meant mustering the courage to suck it up, face reality head-on, and get busy rebuilding my life rather than wasting time feeling sorry for myself.
Of course, the journey was nowhere near that straightforward and I’ve shared some of the stories about how I was able to bounce forward from this challenging period in my books. But the bottom line is I came through that period stronger, more confident and more passionate than ever about the power of emotional resilience and now here I am sharing what I’ve learned through the years to help others embrace the power we all have to create the quality of our life journey.
There is no such thing as an unchanged life. We live our lives in seasons, each with its own trials, potential, and purpose. Learning to make the most of ALL life’s experiences is the promise and the power of resilient living.
- I’ve lived most of my life in Maui, Hawaii, but recently made a pretty dramatic change by moving to beautiful Eugene, Oregon. When I’m not working on a new book or article, I’m either on a road trip, painting, locked in a battle of wills with my dog Lucy, or curled up with a good mystery and glass of my favorite wine.
- My first career was in international sales and marketing during which time I traveled throughout the U.S., Canada, Europe, Asia and the Pacific on behalf of the Hawaii travel industry.
- During my second career as a life and small business coach, I worked with hundreds of clients across the Islands to help them create a balance between nurturing a happy, healthy family and creating a sustainable business.
- In 2011 I became a full-time author – writing articles, books and training courses to help others develop greater emotional resilience.
- I was born in So. California, but have lived most of my life in Maui.
- I dance the hula … sometimes even in public. 🙂
- My nickname is Marty, a holdover from my childhood as a tomboy.
- For those of you who follow the stars, my birthday is August 20 which means I’m on the cusp of Leo and Virgo.
- I have published 6 books including the namesake and cornerstone publication for this website, Resilient Living.
- I believe in making a difference in my community and have chaired 3 County Food Drives as well as dozens of fundraising events, and served on the board of directors for Maui Food Bank, Maui United Way, Maui Association of Non-Profits, and the South Maui Coastal Heritage Corridor Project.
- I’m a voracious reader, especially books by Jonathan Kellerman, James Rollins, David Baldacci, Robert Crais, Tess Gerritsen and C.J. Box.
- I collect classic movies such as Charlie Chan and the great horror films like the original Mummy.
- I’ve hiked through Maui’s Haleakala Crater 6 times.
- My Trip of a Lifetime is to Machu Picchu via Orient Express.
- My life motto: You CAN, you SHOULD, and if you’re BRAVE enough … you WILL!
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