What it Really Means to Commit to Self-Care

Written by on August 21, 2015 in Accountability, Self-Awareness, Self-Care


Ten years ago I was a control freak perfectionist workaholic. I worked 16 hour days, every day, rarely slept more than 4 or 5 hours a night and survived (barely) on fast food. Then one day, I found myself sitting at my very nice desk – in my very nice corner office – crying.

I was doing a great job of being there for everyone else, had a successful career and regularly served my community through various boards and fundraisers, yet I felt like there were some pretty significant pieces of me missing, for one thing, I no longer had a sense of who “I” was and I was tired, so damn tired!

I knew I’d hit an important turning point and so right then and there, I made the decision that enough was enough – it was time to take back control of my life!

As empowering as this “AHA!” moment was, there was still the little matter of figuring out what that really meant. I needed to identify those missing pieces and come up with a vision for the life I wanted to create for myself.

Since I had to start somewhere I decided to focus on the one thing forever residing at the bottom of my priority list – me. This started my journey to discover what it really means to care for one’s self.

You have a great body. It is an intricate piece of technology and a sophisticated supercomputer. It runs on peanuts and even regenerates itself. Your relationship with your body is one of the most important relationships you’ll ever have. And since repairs are expensive and spare parts are hard to come by, it pays to make that relationship good. ~Steve Goodier

Defining Self-Care

Like most areas of self-help, there is no shortage of advice to be found online when it comes to self-care and a typical list of suggested activities looks something like this:

  • Get a massage
  • Take a nap
  • Listen to music you enjoy
  • Read an inspirational book
  • Meditate
  • Spend time in nature
  • Breath

These are all worthwhile activities however they represent a very narrow view of what self-care actually encompasses. To look at the bigger picture let’s consider The World Health Organization’s definition of self-care.

‘Self-Care is what people do for themselves to establish and maintain health and to prevent and deal with illness. It is a broad concept encompassing hygiene (general and personal), nutrition (type and quality of food eaten), lifestyle (sporting activities, leisure etc), environmental factors (living conditions, social habits, etc.) socioeconomic factors (income level, cultural beliefs, etc.) and self-medication.’

To make the scope of this concept a little more manageable we can break it down into two specific areas.

  • Practical Self-Care includes managing your time and energy, setting healthy personal boundaries, managing commitments, exercise, healthy eating, etc.
  • Emotional Self-Care includes doing the inner work to focus on the things that matter most to you and nurture inner peace, understand your emotional triggers, clear mental clutter, and invest in quality “me” time, etc.

In addition, there’s short and long-term self-care. For example occasionally treating yourself to a massage or a trip to the beach is short-term self-care, while a daily exercise regime, following a healthy diet and setting healthy personal boundaries are all long-term self-care practices.

Why We Skip Self-Care

People who knew me – before and after – often ask how I created such a radical change in my life, but it never fails, no sooner than I mention making “self-care” a priority than the defenses go up and out come the excuses, especially about how it must be nice to have that kind of “me” time.

If you’ve ever found yourself feeling the same way, then it’s worth taking an honest look at the most common excuses for not making self-care a priority.

I Don’t Have Time

Let’s be honest, time really isn’t the issue because we make time for the things that we consider priorities, but blaming the lack of time not only feels more socially acceptable, it’s easier to justify to ourselves.

Try this. The next time you’re about to say “I don’t have time” instead say “It’s not a priority” and see how it feels. Instead of saying “I don’t have time to exercise”, say “I’m not going to exercise (eat healthier, get a check-up, etc.) because my health isn’t a priority”, or instead of “I don’t have time to write” say “I’m not going to write because finishing my book (or fill in the relevant goal) is not a priority”.

Quite an eye-opener isn’t it? Mustering the courage to honestly admit to yourself what your priorities have been up to now also gives you a starting point to begin creating some meaningful change … if you want to.

It Feels Too Selfish

Guilt is a powerful emotion, especially for women who are typically the caregivers in a family, but men are certainly not immune to feeling responsibility overload.

Ask yourself these two questions.

  • What would your family do if you died of a heart attack? Who would take care of the cooking, cleaning, laundry, mowing the lawn, taking out the trash, soothing scraped knees and broken hearts? Of course, they would mourn and miss you because they love you and you were such a great person, but eventually, they would pick up their lives and move on.
  • Have you been waiting for an engraved invitation from others to do the things that would make you feel better physically and emotionally because to take care of yourself would feel too selfish?

Here’s a news flash. Taking care of yourself is not selfish – it is survival – and it’s up to YOU to choose to make self-care a regular part of your life. When we are filling our own emotional and physical reserves with self-respect and loving care, we have much more to give to our families, friends, and the world in general.

I Don’t Have the Support

Not long ago a friend brought up the “lack of support” excuse when she was explaining to me that she’d resigned herself to giving up her dream of going back to school to finish her degree because of her husband.

This surprised me because I’d actually been friends with her husband first and it just didn’t sound like the guy I knew, so I asked her what he said when she talked to him about it. She said, “Oh, well I’ve never actually brought it up because I just know he wouldn’t go for it because of the time it would take away from him.” Uh huh, the old mind reader ploy!

If someone really cares about your well-being chances are good they’ll support anything that makes you happy and keeps you healthy and around a little longer.

If you do experience push back in response to your efforts to take better care of yourself keep this in mind, we teach people how to treat us, so if you’ve allowed yourself to become a doormat then it’s time to learn how to set some healthy personal boundaries (practical self-care). In fact, one way to secure support would be to encourage your partner to join you by investing some time in their own self-care!

I Tried But Couldn’t Stick With It

For most people self-care is something you do in response to feeling tired or stressed rather than a necessary part of daily life. Getting a massage, taking a soothing bubble bath or going for a walk in nature are all worthwhile activities, but without consistency, the benefits are far from sustainable.

Try to think of it this way – eating one healthy meal a week, or exercising only when you feel like it, is not going to do much for your health. The same goes for self-care. To be really effective, self-care needs to be developed over time as you would any habit.

We tend to look for the quick fix in everything we do, but that’s not how self-care works. It’s a whole way of looking at life, a whole way of living and taking care of yourself. ~Babette Galang

Did you hear yourself in some of these excuses? Did they make you feel uncomfortable? Great! Now you have a starting point. Now you can make the decision to take back control and you can choose to create a sustainable habit of self-care.

Related reading …
Let today be the day you give up who you’ve been for who you can become.
About Marquita Herald

Marquita Herald

Marquita is an author, resilience coach and the chief evangelist at Emotionally Resilient Living. She’s also an unapologetic workaholic who loves red wine, rock n’ roll, road trips (and car dancing!), peanut butter cookies and (especially) a dog named Lucy.

She’s saddened and frustrated by excuses and cruelty and believes authentic compassion is the most powerful force in the world.

To learn more about Marquita and the mission of Emotionally Resilient Living click here.

Thank you for sharing!

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  1. Hi Marquita, I had to share this post with my partner. I usually have to beg her to take a break and send her to the Spa.

    • I’m so glad you found the post shareable Khareem! Many of us have a tough time justifying setting aside for ourselves, but it really is important. Thanks for stopping by and contributing to the conversation. 🙂

  2. Rachel Lavern

    Hi Marquita,

    I love that you are encouraging us to take care of ourselves. Why do so many of us put that last? And it seems to be the first thing to be canceled when something unexpected pops up.

    I like your suggestions and it may be time for me to start thinking about other things I may want to gradually add. I think that I will personally start off small with one or two additions (or even changes) that I want to make first. When that becomes routine and a habit, I may add more.

    I like to mix it up and change your mind! It is okay to do things differently. The most important thing is setting up time and space for things that bring us joy, peace and fulfillment. Things that nourish us and don’t deplete us.
    Rachel Lavern recently posted…Business Spring Cleaning ChecklistMy Profile

    • What a nice surprise to hear from you Rachel! I’m so glad you enjoyed the article and you are so right, I am a firm believer in the value of self-care in whatever form suits us individually. Thanks so much for sharing your thoughts and contributing to the conversation. 🙂

  3. Women tend to have more guilt associated with self-care than men. And women are more accepting of men talking time for themselves than men are for women. For example, more men have”standing,”massage” appointments, take time for weekly sport activities and time with friends. Women tend to “squeeze” in self-care AFTER they’ve taken care of of everything else.But you’re right Marquita not having balance in your life is like trying to 65 mph with a flat tire,
    pamela chollet recently posted…Nesting Phase of Pregnancy | NurseryMy Profile

    • While I don’t disagree with you Pamela, and did in fact reference the connection between women and guilt in the post, this article isn’t intended as a gender based “us vs. them” piece – there’s already more than enough of that as it is. Thanks for sharing. 🙂

  4. Totally hear you, Marquita. Tomorrow I’m finally taking an entire weekend off for the first time this year! How that happened, I don’t know. I think time has to be scheduled for yourself as diligently as you would for any client or other obligation.
    Krystyna Lagowski recently posted…It’s true, the all-new 2016 Mazda MX-5 Miata is now more baller than everMy Profile

    • Good for you Krystyna! Ironically I think it’s even easier to lose track of time when you’re enjoying what you do. When I worked at a regular ‘job’ I never had a problem scheduling a vacation, but now that I work for myself on a daily basis I make time for self-care, but it’s been nearly 5 years since I’ve taken dedicated vacation time. I’ve made peace with the fact it’s the price you pay for starting a business, but now I’m planning to take an entire month off next spring so looking forward to reaping the rewards! Thanks for sharing. 🙂

  5. I love this blog, Marquita! I love the rewording of, “I don’t have time,” to the truth of me: I’m not making the time because that’s not my priority.
    Yikes to telling the truth on that one!
    Shared on Facebook and on Twitter because I think your message resounds with women and men alike–although I think men are better at doing it.
    My husband supports my multiple workout sessions a day (from 20 minutes on the elliptical to a Pilates or weight lifting–whatever the routine is) because my job is 100% sedentary and he knows working out makes me happy.
    However, I often feel guilty about taking the time. What the heck is up with that?
    LOVE this blog!
    Rose M Griffith recently posted…What About Mothers and Deep Conversations?My Profile

    • The guilt thing is a problem for most women Rose, but I’m so happy to hear that your husband supports your self-care and ‘me’ time – that’s half the battle! Thanks for your kind words, and for taking the time to contribute to the conversation. 🙂

  6. Lea Bullen

    Hi Marquita,

    In recent years I’ve become more aware of my self-care. I think before I didn’t even acknowledge it because they always make it seem like you should put everyone else first. Almost like taking care of yourself primarily is selfish.

    It makes me laugh when I hear the “I don’t have time” excuse because a lot of the time people are busy doing nothing. Really, what could be more important than taking care of yourself.

    Personally, I have to have me time. It helps me keep my sanity and things under control.

    Lea Bullen recently posted…How to Figure Out If Your Routine is Holding You BackMy Profile

    • As an Introvert I’m definitely with you on the importance of ‘me’ time Lea. For years I worked in sales and marketing and the only way I managed that was to make a priority of periods of ‘me’ time to re-energize. Thanks for contributing to the conversation!

  7. Sabrina Quairoli

    You are totally right! I think skin care is an important task you can do to take care of yourself. It’s all about taking care of yourself, isn’t it? When I was a teenager, I started doing facials once a month and have continued that tradition with my daughter as well. I clean my face thoroughly once a day. And, I truly see a difference when I do it regularly. Your 30 day self-care challenges sounds great. I will definitely share with my friends and clients. Thanks for sharing your insights.
    Sabrina Quairoli recently posted…Braciole Recipe Stuffed Beef RollsMy Profile

    • Glad you enjoyed the article Sabrina, and you are so right about the value of skin care. It’s one of those things where the benefits accumulate over time. When we first moved to the Islands I felt sorry for myself that with my red hair and fair skin I couldn’t spend hours in the sun like all of our friends, but years later I feel really good about my skin where my friends have way more wrinkles and a couple of had recurring bouts of skin cancer! Thanks for sharing. 🙂

  8. Rosalind says:

    I am and have been pretty good at self care overall with one exception, my weight. Your call the substitute the phrase “not having time” and instead go with, “it’s not a priority.” makes that even clearer.
    I’ve recently restarted an exercise program which though time consuming makes me feel good in the end. I’ve also made plans for future goals to keep myself moving and motivated to the next level.

    • Good for you Rosaland! We all have our weak spots and I have to admit mine is exercise, so you’ve definitely inspired me! Thanks for taking the time to contribute to the conversation. 🙂

  9. Leora

    Hi, Marquita. Taking care of oneself *first* is so important. How can we take of others if our own needs aren’t met first? Figuring out those needs, however, is not always simple. What’s healthy to one may not work for another. XYZ may feel good to someone, but someone else might prefer Q. Life is a journey. Sometimes my daughter says I am selfish and thinking about myself (only, she thinks. Ha!). I have to remind myself that I can’t take care of her if I don’t care for myself first.
    Leora recently posted…Updating WordPress – CarefullyMy Profile

    • Excellent point about the work it takes Leora, in fact many people would far rather to physical work than take time to invest in inner work to figure out who they are and what really matters to them. But then all you can do is show the path and offer encouragement, ultimately it’s up to each of us to decide whether or not to make the effort a ‘priority’. 🙂 And speaking of, delighted to see you’ve joined our 30 Day Self-Care Challenge!

  10. Sue Bride

    This post is particularly relevant to me right now. I attended a conference last week which addressed complications in aging due to a faulty gene I have. (1 in 150 females carry it – less so in males)

    The talk was pretty scary at first because of all the problems later in life caused by stress, anxiety, depression. While these are common symptoms in carriers of this gene, the health issues are the same for anyone who’s stressed, anxious or depressed.

    Then it went on to talk of all the ways these problems can be avoided and that it’s never too late to start.

    If we have people depending on us, don’t you think it’s more selfish not to take care of ourselves?

    I conquered the anxiety, depression and running myself ragged problems. I’m forced to follow a healthy diet because I now suffer from diabetes II – An epidemic of our times. I haven’t yet conquered my dislike of exercise but I’m trying. What effects my prior problems have had on my brain, I don’t yet know; but at my age, I’ll soon find out. (Alzheimers, Parkinsons or a neurological degenerative condition unique to my faulty gene.). I didn’t deal with my problems quickly enough.

    What you’re offering in your 30 Day Challenge will be invaluable. I urge anyone who doesn’t take good care of themselves to participate.
    Sue Bride recently posted…Tips for Using the Best Images for Blogs and Social MediaMy Profile

    • I’m so sorry to hear about the challenges you’ve experienced with that faulty gene Sue. One in 150 still amounts to far too many. So glad that you’re being so diligent in educating yourself and to include self care in your life. Keep at it – we need you to stick around!

  11. Marquita — another important post. I have to admit I’ve been lax about my self-care. I’ve used my vacation as an excuse to add a few pounds and I”ve fallen out of a regular exercise routine. When I return to Florida I intend to start water aerobics again. That’s an exercise I really enjoy and it’s easier on your joints than jogging. I think it’s important to find an exercise routine that you enjoy because if it becomes a dreaded chore you won’t keep it up.
    Jeannette Paladino recently posted…You’re Never Too Old to Go for the GoldMy Profile

    • So glad you found value in the article Jeannette. Well I know that you moved prior to taking your vacation so for heaven sake don’t beat yourself up too much for slacking off – just get back to it girl!

  12. Donna Merrill

    Hi Marquita,

    There was a time when I had the excuse that “I was too busy” and guess what happened? I crashed..I mean really crashed. So much so that I fell into depression. That was the wake up call for me to manage my “self care”

    I do take time for myself by doing many things: mind/body and especially spirit. What I learned so much about myself was that I was caring so much for others, that I forgot all about me. NEVER AGAIN!

    Donna Merrill recently posted…7 Great Blog Posts August 2015My Profile

    • Good for you Donna! Since we’ve been friends for a few years now I know we’ve had many similar experiences and fortunately come through them far wiser. I carry one small physical reminder of how silly I used to be – I took a rather spectacular slip and slide across a just mopped floor and smashed my hand into a wall one day when picking up my dog from the kennel after returning from a business rip. I knew I’d injured the little finger on my right hand but chose to ignore it because I had so much work to catch up on. Turns out I’d fractured it so now it’s permanently bent. The doctor said he could fix it but would have to break and reset it. No thank you! Besides it does make for a very good reminder.

  13. Jennifer Smith

    What a great article I could really hear those excuses in my head coming up and I liked how you visualised different situations in the future to get perspective now. I’m sure lots of people will resonate to what you went through and want to do the same in their lives. Your 30 day challenge sounds brilliant xxx
    Jennifer Smith recently posted…Why are there so many people willing to go on the Jeremy Kyle show?My Profile

    • Thanks for taking the time to share Jennifer … and yep, I wasn’t sure what to expect as far as enrollment has been quite active so looks like we’re going to have a good size group so I’m excited and hope to be able to help lots of ladies start making self-care a part of their everyday lives.

  14. Jeri

    I hate that feeling of not having time for self-care, but at least now I’ve jogged regularly enough that I feel worse if I don’t take the time to go out and run. There are times I will run even when I know it will eat into my work day. I just feel better when I exercise. The area I fall down in is sleep… lo and behalf here I sit in front of a glowing screen at 1030 at night. Go figure. Gotta work on the sleep part 😉
    Jeri recently posted…#AuthorInterview: Jacqueline GumMy Profile

    • Good for you Jeri – I used to be a runner but wrecked my knees with Noho hula so now I stick with walking. I struggle with sleep as well, but for me part of it is an attitude issue – it seems like such a waste of time when I can think of so many other things I’d rather be doing!

  15. Irish Carter

    What a great read Marty. Why do so many of us put ourselves last? I too was like you with the not putting myself first. Now, “ME” has to come first so that I can be my best for my self and those I love so much. I am so grateful that I have shared openly about this so that the community around me understands when I go silent for a period of time to take care of myself.

    I love the concept you shared of making the statement that “I am not a priority”. Wow…..true gamechanger in making someone stop dead in their tracks. Good one!

    Love this exercise and challenge you have running. How awesome. I know you are going to help a great amount of people.

    Irish Carter recently posted…Surviving Life – Chasing The Dream!My Profile

    • Hello my friend, good to see you! I’m glad you enjoyed the article and I must admit I’m pretty excited about the Challenge. Thanks for stopping by and contributing to the conversation Irish – always value your thoughtful insights. 🙂

  16. Tim

    Excellent article and a great reminder that self care is not something we should do because we are guilted into it but because it really should be a part of a life style aimed at improvement. We can all do with more of that.
    Tim recently posted…Island LifeMy Profile

  17. Stella Chiu

    Hi, Marquita

    Good article to remind the readers of self-care.The important of self care is that it is not just for your health and your inner peace only, but also for productivity, success and benefit of other.

    we, women, are genetically built in to help people, but for self-care just the opposite story. The feeling of “selfishness” is existed. I appreciate you pointing out this notion is not sounded right.

    What a good idea to use “priority” to remove all the excuses.
    Thanks for this good article
    Stella Chiu recently posted…Get Your Child College Education without DebtMy Profile

    • Glad you enjoyed the article Stella, and you are so right about women on both counts – we are natural born caretakers who come fully equipped with a ‘guilt’ gene when it comes to turning that care inward. Takes work to over come that natural tendency but it’s life altering when we can.

  18. Dave

    I can definitely feel myself inside some of the excuses you lay out for us Marty. I actually fall into a form of the selfish category that may be an even more slippery slope than the ones you have detailed so well.

    I *do* take time for myself. But, when you feel guilty about it while you are engaged in that self-care activity, it negates the positive effects of the activity itself. What a tangled web we sometimes weave, huh?

    I think the most difficult thing for me is not in finding the time or motivation to take care of myself, but in taking that time when those around you (family, friends, etc) are not taking the time for themselves. It’s sometimes a difficult scale to balance, but you have certainly provided some wonderful ideas to get yourself in the right mindset to begin moving in a more positive direction!
    Dave recently posted…House CallMy Profile

    • Excellent point Dave and that most certainly can be a challenge. I have to admit to being blatantly biased in this regard having been raised around people who made a fine art of the role of ‘victim’ and later married to someone who went the same route with substance abuse. The way I look at is we can come from love by showing the way to a better life and offer support and encouragement for the journey, but we can’t lead people to do what’s right or even healthy for them. I believe there’s a name for this approach – tough love. 🙂

  19. Awesome analysis as Marquita! I identify with this post on so many levels. Great tips and all, these are powerful insights. I needed to read this post. Thanks so much for sharing x

  20. Erica says:

    This is a great article and you really put things in perspective. I love how you tackle each one of the excuses. My husband, who needs some sort of creative outlet, came to me last year because he wanted to do a comic book. This would be both a financial and time commitment and he was surprised that I supported such a venture. But I was smart enough to know that he needed that outlet to be healthy and happy while holding a conventional 9 to 5 job. Someone who cares for you will support your self-care, and if they don’t, then there is a problem.
    Erica recently posted…Sugar and Hidden Body Fat DangersMy Profile

    • That is so great the way you supported your husband Erica! Thanks for sharing your story because it really provides a wonderful example of how important it is to be there for each other.

  21. Phoenicia

    When I think about it, I make very little time for myself. I have 4-5 hours sleep a night, commute four hours a day, am a church leader, run a blog and make up business.

    I feel tired 90% of the time but keep going nonetheless.

    I dream of spa days, booking into a hotel for the weekend without my family to read and sleep. I never actually arrange it.
    Phoenicia recently posted…What does success mean to you?My Profile

    • Well it’s obvious from what you’ve shared Phoenicia that you’re well aware of all the things you don’t do to take care of yourself so the question is what’s the pay off? There is a ‘pay off’ for every decision and action we take and you’re the only one who can decide if your pay off will be worth jeopardizing your well-being it in the long run.

  22. Lenie

    Marquita, I totally identified with this post. Like you I was a perfectionist workaholic and believed I had to be because I didn’t think anyone could take care of the charity the way I could. this went on until the day at 7am I had a mild heart attack at my desk, doors locked, no one to help, afraid to move to use the phone and just waiting for things to ease up. That was the first step towards my retirement. Oh, I forgot to mention that I lived on coffee and cigarettes – food only when I remembered it was time to eat. What a life. Once I retired and got my health back in decent shape, I decided that it was time for me and started a healthy lifestyle focusing on the things that mattered to me. That was 15 years ago and my quality of life has improved immensely. I hope others who need to make the lifestyle change will be motivated by this post. Excellent.
    Lenie recently posted…Avon Skin So Soft: Multi-Tasker 2My Profile

    • Wow Lenie how scary that must have been for you! I’ve never smoked (a bi-product of having parents who were chain smokers) but I can certainly relte to the coffee thing. I hate to even think of how much coffee and diet sodas I consumed in a typical day back then! So glad you were able to change your life for the better and thank you so much for sharing!

  23. Actually, for women of my generation, this is what we were taught to do. In many ways, our roles models did exactly this and all along we thought it such a worthy profession…taking care of others.:) My AHA moment was a 2 by four to the face…a surprise divorce! Looking back, it was exactly what I needed. But then I had to learn how to do the work…self-care takes work, too, right? Not the mani-pedi’s, but the soul searching. 🙂 This is my favorite post of yours ever….
    Jacqueline Gum recently posted…Equality… Where’s The Justice?My Profile

    • Thanks so much for sharing and for your kind words Jacqueline! Judging from the divorce stats I think that is a wake-up call far too many people experience – although I must admit in my case it was more like a giant relief following 10 years of Chinese water torture. 🙂

  24. Patricia Weber

    Short and long term self-care, check. The older I am the more I make this part of my every day habit. I think it started about 20 years ago when I was diagnosed with osteopenia (which I have managed to keep from escalating to osteoporosis.) Since that time I’ve made so many habits a part of my life that were not a priority before then. I could so relate to your career work hours up until then! So thankfully, I do not find it easy to skip self-care. And if I do, like when we are traveling and all those airline connections make it near to impossible and cause more than every day stress, well if I do, I catch up quickly.

    Great tips! Thanks so much because I needed to hear this. It made me to a happy dance.
    Patricia Weber recently posted…#RomanceAwareness Month: Are Introverts Hard To Love?My Profile

    • Good point about the challenge with travel Patricia. Having spent a big chunk of my life as a road warrior I can certainly relate but you do learn pretty quickly how to make adjustments if you want to keep your health and energy in check. Thanks for contributing to the conversation!

  25. Kimba

    Oh, making self-care a top priority is indeed a BIG life change for most women. What I see most often is that it takes some sort of health scare to serve as a big ‘ol wake up call. I’m currently working on a a new clean eating approach – no processed foods! I just started, so I’ll let you know how it goes – thanks as always for your message and advice at the exact moment that it’s needed!
    Kimba recently posted…A Woman to Woman Football GuideMy Profile

    • You are so right about how we often need a wake-up call to jar us into creating meaningful change Kimba – certainly was the case for me. Wish you luck on your new health regime and I look forward to hearing more as time goes on.

  26. Suzie Cheel

    Self care is primary and so often the last things so many of us especially woman put first. It took a NDE for my wake up call and i thought I was doing well on my own self-care- I ate well etc. I discovered i was still “looking outside” We do have to go within as well as make self-care a priority. Once we learn to say no and block in me time we are on the way . Brilliant post as usual xxoo
    Suzie Cheel recently posted…Is Abundance Flowing Into Your Life Today?My Profile

    • Always appreciate your thoughtful insights Suzie, especially your point about blocking out time for ourselves. This is absolutely key because there will always be things and people screaming for our attention so it’s up to us to make time for ourselves each day.

  27. great post, Marquita. I really do try to take time out for self-care every week. Going to Toastmasters every week is one of those indulgences. And taking regular time away from my desk and responsibilities for research trips and conferences are other ways I indulge myself.

    I love the quote by Steve Goodier. Thx for sharing.
    Doreen Pendgracs recently posted…Ste. Anne’s Spa nurtures your body & spiritMy Profile

    • Glad you enjoyed the article Doreen and I’m so happy that you practice awareness by taking time for you – after all – you deserve that time for yourself and those experiences!

  28. Mark

    Brilliant and some articulated analysis as usual Marquita!

    When you suggested, going forward, that we substitute, the phrase “not having time” and instead go with, “it’s not a priority.”

    That really did and has opened my eyes to one of the destructive ways that we often mislead ourselves!Thank you!

    And even though I was extremely sorry to hear what happened to you about ten years ago M!

    At least that situation lead to much needed personal breakthrough for you!

    And I’m sl glad it has to lead you to much greater personal happiness and far more, much deserved professional success as well!

    Thanks so much for sharing your extremely powerful insights!!
    Mark recently posted…How Some Really Tiny Gestures Can Lead To Massive Customer Satisfaction!Part TwoMy Profile

    • Glad you liked the article Mark – and that ‘priority’ exercise is a favorite of mine. I used to use it a lot when I was coaching because I worked with so many women struggling to balance home, family and a new business – which is a heck of a load for anyone! Thanks for stopping by and sharing – always appreciated!

  29. I think this is something most women do. They sacrifice themselves on the altar of ‘should’. I’ve done it too. I don’t know if it’s genetics or we’re somehow taught to do this, but self-care and self-expression are often the first things we drop.
    Linda Ursin recently posted…Friday Happy Hour TonightMy Profile

    • Yep, you know I normally work to share a gender balanced message, but you are so right about this being an issue particularly relevant to woman. We are after all the caretakers so it’s an issue that hits close to home. Thanks for sharing!

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