Self-mastery sounds like such a lofty intention, doesn’t it? But it is neither an audacious goal to be achieved nor a finish line to be crossed, it is courageously undertaking the journey of becoming the best version of you.
What that journey looks like will be different for each of us.
Some choose to master a skill, talent or athletic ability, others focus their energy on achieving great success, while many simply seek lasting happiness and fulfillment.
Regardless of the intention or direction, this is a journey without end.
There will never come a point where you can say “Okay, I’m done now so I think I’ll go grab a burger.” There will always be something new to learn about yourself and the world, right up until you take your last breath in this life.
This is the first of a 2-part exploration of Self-Mastery as the key to becoming the best version of you. The focus today is on understanding the nature of and purpose for mastering yourself, and in my next post, we’ll take a look at the skills, resources, and behaviors necessary to undertake your own journey.
Self-Mastery: Embracing Your Power to Choose
In the simplest terms, mastering yourself is about choosing to do those things you should do and not do the things you should not do; no matter how you feel, or what external influences or temptations you may be facing.
And that also means having the courage to recognize when past choices have turned you into a victim in your own life.
See if any of these examples sound familiar.
*You put up with dysfunctional relationships because you fear rejection or confrontation, and sometimes you simply don’t believe you deserve to be treated better.
*Maybe you procrastinate and constantly seek external validation because you lack confidence in your ability to make sound choices or effectively solve problems.
*Or you fail to set healthy personal boundaries because it feels uncomfortable and maybe a little selfish, only to find yourself resenting others for not recognizing your sacrifices or how their behavior adversely affects you.
*Could it be that you have avoided the risk of finding out how much you are truly capable of accomplishing by relying on an endless list of excuses to keep from trying new things or finishing what you start?
As if these examples aren’t compelling enough, consider that we humans have an undeniable attraction to short-cuts and pride ourselves on how creative we can get with the quick fix, do it now, fix it now, change it now, solve it now, learn it now, and let it go now solutions to life.
But quick fixes never last, especially when it comes to building important relationships or creating meaningful change.
We have to do the work and the truth is that most of us exercise only the bare minimum of the power and ability we have to determine the quality and course of our own life journey.
2019 – This is going to be your year so let’s get started!
Yes, It Takes Effort
Growing into the best possible version of the person that you are capable of becoming doesn’t happen overnight. It requires hard work and effort, sometimes a massive amount of effort.
“But I give my full effort to everything I do!” you might say.
To which I would sincerely reply, “That’s adorable.”
None of us give a hundred percent effort to everything we do. In fact, I’m not sure that is even possible, but the point is that allocating more time and effort to some things than others is perfectly normal.
This is why we have things called priorities.
The problem is that more often then we like to admit our main priority ends up being to silence the voices that yell loudest for our attention.
So rather than focusing on mastering the things that really matter we invest our time and energy on whatever it takes to just get through the day.
Close your eyes and imagine the best version of you possible. That’s who you REALLY are, let go of any part of you that doesn’t believe it. ~C. Assaad
You Are Worth It
We all have moments in life when we feel frustrated and discouraged.
Maybe it’s a problem that seems insurmountable, a relationship that creates more pain than pleasure or struggling to achieve a goal that is beginning to lose its appeal.
And when you’re at your weakest point, when you’re feeling particularly vulnerable, there will inevitably come a little voice in your head fueling those feelings of doubt.
“Come on, is it really worth all this effort? What if you’ve been kidding yourself? Wouldn’t it be a relief to just let go and take life as it comes?”
Some people are destined to spend a lifetime giving in to those destructive whispers, while others will learn to master their minds and behaviors in a way that enables them to use occasional doubts and setbacks to energize their efforts.
Self-mastery gives you power over the one thing you CAN control in any situation: you.
Remember, this is not about perfection; it’s creating a vision for your best life and then making a steady, consistent effort in that direction one choice, one day at a time, with discipline, persistence, and focus.
That’s how you experience all the rewards of the journey and when the real transformation occurs.
Closing Thoughts
Ultimately self-mastery is about choosing to become the best version of you possible, not only for own benefit but for the happiness and well-being of those who matter most to you.
And that is a commitment that will inevitably take the quality of your life experience to a whole new level.
Take Action: Close your eyes and try to imagine the best version of you possible. What does that look like? What will it take to make that your reality? It is well within your power to make that happen if you are willing to make the effort.
Related reading:
Will you be the passenger or the driver in your life journey?
About Marquita A. Herald
Marquita is an author, resilience coach and the chief evangelist at Emotionally Resilient Living. She’s also an unapologetic workaholic who loves red wine, rock n’ roll, road trips (and car dancing!), peanut butter cookies and (especially) a dog named Lucy.
She’s saddened and frustrated by excuses and cruelty and believes authentic compassion is the most powerful force in the world.
To learn more about Marquita and the mission of Emotionally Resilient Living click “here“.
