The Key to Unshakable Self-Trust

Written by on June 4, 2018 in Self-Determination

Unshakable Self-Trust

Self-trust isn’t a behavior to be learned or a skill to be mastered like riding a bike or driving a car. It is largely based on intuition, a healthy dose of faith, and the confidence you develop in yourself over time.

This is the third and final article in our 3-part series and today we’re going to focus on the beliefs, mindset, and behaviors that go into being genuinely trustworthy.

The Nature of Unshakeable Self-Trust

Every time you make a better decision, choose to do the right thing, act with compassion, face your fears, or accept responsibility, you grow a little stronger and trust yourself a little more to rise above life’s challenges.

What this means is that even when you don’t have all the answers, the belief that you have developed in yourself and your ability to make the effort and right choices will create the courage you need to step into the unknown, trusting that you will find a way and that whatever happens, you will be okay.

On Becoming Trustworthy

Being a trustworthy person doesn’t just happen. It takes commitment, dedication, and a choice to take total responsibility for your own life. Of course, you know as well as I do, that this can sometimes be a challenge, but surely not impossible.

Following are a few key elements that go into developing unshakeable self-trust.

Decide You’re Worth the Effort

One of the most overlooked facts of life is that anything and everything that you want has a price tag.

If you long to have unshakeable trust in yourself, you must be willing to make the effort to earn it by developing your abilities, facing your fears, challenging your limits and making conscious choices about how you want to live your life.

Embrace the Power Within You

There are of course many different types of power so let’s begin by clarifying that what we’re talking about here is the belief that you have the power and authority to positively affect the circumstances of your own life.

The tricky part about this is that it’s awfully tempting to pick and choose which events and circumstances to own, and which to chalk up to fate, luck or the bad behavior of other people.

But trust cannot be built on a foundation of denial.

There will be many things in life that you have no control over, but you will always have control over how you choose to respond. That is where your power lies, and once you embrace it fully your life will forever be changed for the better.

Forgive Yourself

Forgiveness is a cornerstone of trust. We tend to focus on how hard it is to forgive others, but what about ourselves?

How do we forgive ourselves for trusting the wrong people, hurting those we love, for falling short of expectations, for failures and broken promises, for the things we say to ourselves that we wouldn’t dream of saying to another person or repeatedly putting the needs of others ahead of our own?

Forgiveness doesn’t undo what has been done, but if you can’t forgive yourself, how can you find a way to believe your own wisdom and trust your voice?

Face Your Fear

Everyone is afraid of something. Fear can alter your perspective, blur your judgment, eat at you from the inside out, and make you a victim in your own life.

But fear isn’t the problem. In fact, fear serves a purpose by alerting us to issues that need our attention. The level of anxiety that we experience as a result of these matters depends entirely on the way in which we process fear.

It will take courage to face your fear, but each time you lean into it rather than turn away you will gain a little more confidence and trust in your ability to rise above life’s challenges.

Keep Your Promises

Would you trust someone who regularly breaks promises to you? Probably not, and yet most of us think nothing of breaking promises to ourselves.

We need to remind ourselves that a promise is not just about achieving a goal, fulfilling an obligation or changing an unsatisfactory situation, it’s also a test of integrity.

When you make a commitment to yourself to keep your promises, you are more inclined to make better choices, do the work to keep your word and achieve your desired outcome no matter what the obstacles.

This is what it means to become trustworthy in your own eyes.

Trust yourself. Create the kind of self you will be happy to live with all your life. Make the most of yourself by fanning the tiny, inner sparks of possibility into the flames of achievement.
~Foster C. McClellan

Show Up

Showing up is more than rolling out of bed and into another day of crossing items off of your to-do list. It’s being fully present and authentically you rather than who you (or others) think you should be.

It’s being more concerned about liking yourself than whether or not others like you and understanding that if you want others to trust you – if you want to trust yourself – then you need to do the work to be a person who is trustworthy.

Showing up is cultivating unconditional self-acceptance in a world that constantly compares us to each other, tells us that we must do more and have more in order to feel worthy.

It’s loving the imperfect person you are, quirky bits and pieces and all, and choosing to show up every single day of your life.

Related reading:
Will you be the passenger or the driver in your life journey?
About Marquita A. Herald

Marquita HeraldMarquita is an author, resilience coach and the chief evangelist at Emotionally Resilient Living.

She’s also an unapologetic workaholic who loves red wine, rock n’ roll, road trips (and car dancing!), peanut butter cookies and (especially) a dog named Lucy.

To learn more about Marquita and the mission of Emotionally Resilient Living Start Here.

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8 Reader Comments

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  1. You are so kind Mark! I’m happy you found value in the article and always appreciate your thoughtful insights. 🙂

  2. Mark Newsome says:

    So very well said M!

    I absolutely love the first two sentences in your
    paragraph about “becoming trustworthy.”

    In it you explain so eloquently how, in order to develop into a trustworthy person, we need to first become committed and dedicated, plus be willing to take full responsibility for our lives.

    These all too familiar tasks within themselves, are more than enough, to keep us extremely busy and focused, for the rest of our lives!LOL!

    You also go and explain to us, how to effectively re-direct our fears, so they stop getting in our way.

    By learning to view them from a very refreshing and totally empowering perspective.

    Thank you M! I always come away from your blog posts, with a much deeper understanding and a far deeper perspective, than when I initially arrived!LOL!

  3. Ain’t that the truth! Thanks for stopping by RoseMary, hope you and your sister have an awesome trip to Wales!

  4. Yep, it is truly amazing the extent that fear affects our lives, which is the reason I’ll be launching my Face Your Fear Challenge this month. Thanks for sharing your thoughtful insights, always appreciated!

  5. Well said, Jeannette! I admit I lean toward perfectionist tendencies so if I don’t work to stick to deadlines I’ll drag things on and on just to keep “tweaking” the work. Thanks so much for sharing your thoughts with us, always appreciated.

  6. “There will be many things in life that you have no control over, but you will always have control over how you choose to respond.” So very true, Marquita. I wish we were taught to embrace this from our youth. It would change everything for us–including the ability to learn to trust ourselves.

  7. Hi Marquita,

    As a part of growing we do need to trust ourselves enough to face our fears. As we grow, there are challenges in life that come to us or we choose ourselves. We do have to have enough trust in ourselves to take action upon them.

    I had so many and in fact dealing with one now. Doing something new in my business is a bit fearful but exciting at the same time. It is taking a giant leap for me, but I do trust myself enough to say that if it doesn’t work out, it will be a huge lesson for me to absorb and do it better. That’s the outlook I have.

    Donna Merrill recently posted…The Best Kind of Content to Offer on Your BlogMy Profile

  8. Jeannette Paladino says:

    You mention the key trait of learning to forgive yourself if you make a mistake or don’t live up to your self-imposed limitations. I tend to get down on myself occasionally when I feel like I should have done something better. But I’m not perfect and I have to keep reminding myself to trust my instincts and trust myself to find the right path. I’ll get it right if I believe in myself.